Friday, October 5, 2012

River Rats and Dumb Whores

Today is the one year anniversary of this blog! Finally, I actually committed to something. Sorry I don't have some cool montage of every story ever written on here to make one masterful post encompassing the whole year. In lieu of that.. I will tell you a little story about my evening.

So, my friends and I happened upon a purely American inspired diner in France. It has everything from the neon lights and a Coca Cola sign to red leather booths and a plethora of milkshakes. In all honesty, it tried to hard and fell short of the real thing. Milkshakes that were actually the consistency of milk?? Albeit, a delicious fucking milkshake of vanilla-speculose. It was like drinking a caramely graham cracker. My face when I tasted it:

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After the diner that tried too hard, my friends and I went down to the river to hang out and have some drinks. All was going well, we were laughing and talking and enjoying the wonderful evening weather. The only appalling thing that had happened all night was that an enormous river rat swam by us. I'm talking beaver sized river rat. This thing had its own wake and could probably destroy an on-coming boat.

Only a short amount of time passed before other river rats began to stir up trouble of their own. And by other river rats, I mean the group next to us who decided to get into a serious river rat brawl. It was really exciting to watch it break out, actually; I never knew how riveting I found violence! There was the usual pushing and shoving and the occasional hearty swing of a backpack. However, shit got real when a big, glass bottle was broken against a lamp post and the guy tried to, essentially, stab the other guy in the head.. so, that was when I decided to leave..... and watch from the bridge.

Also, on the tram on the way to the river, my group of friends and I were standing next to a shitty little group of french boys who remarked and guffawed at the fact that we were Americans in France. Little did they know that I could understand them perfectly as they said that they didn't like it that we were here and that I looked like a condom with my hood on. Well, fuck you. The events of tonight have led me to the conclusion that:

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