Maintenance

Seeing as how I was up till 3 studying for an exam after an already long-as-hell day, I was in one of those life-questioning deep sleeps that on is only granted once in a blue moon. Like being reeled up slowly from the deepest depths of my slumbery sea, I started to hear something that definitely did not fit the usual morning environment.

Someone was in the apartment saying something that I could not quite understand. With the news of the previous night's campus robbery ringing fresh in my mind, I knew I must be the next target.

He said the same undecipherable mumble in a tone that was nothing but taunting. He was egging me on.

I shot out of bed and walked to the bedroom door, making sure it was locked; the whole time, keeping in my mind that I should really put some pants on to retain some dignity if I do get killed.

"Maaaintenaaance," the intruder said.

I finally understood it. After quickly throwing some pants on, I walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen and there he was.

"Hey there, sorry to wake ya up."

"No, no that's fine," I lied. We kind of just stood there looking at each other, me with only one eye open as I do when I first wake up. He looked a little freaked out and I wanted to say, really? Look what you've put me through.

"Ain't you the guys who called for a mouse?" At this, I had to control myself from throwing out the Avatar pursed-lip face (reference Tsu'tey from Avatar). I told him that was false and no one had ever called. He simply responded:

"Oooooh, shit." He persisted by asking the number of the apartment. Turns out that it was the right apartment. The whole time, I just kept wondering when he was going to finally leave.

"We-he-hell," he laughed, "I was called to just patch up some holes." Something tells me that he had more holes to patch up in his life than just those of mice and that he also got some sick satisfaction out of sealing mice into walls. He was actually a really nice guy, though.

I almost offered to make him a cup of coffee because that would have been better than just standing there, my one other eye starting to slowly open. Then, I thought of how a cup of coffee could be a gateway into his life-story.

"Well, we don't have a mouse," I said while shrugging my shoulders. "If we did have a mouse then you would be helpful," I laughed. I didn't even mean to sound like such a dick, it just came out in trying to make a humorous comment. However, that must have been his breaking point, for he finally left, apologizing profusely.

'WhatisthisIdon'teven,' is how I was feeling, and I just turned around and walked back into the bedroom. I kept my pants on this time.