Thursday, February 7, 2013

New Year's Resolutions

Hello, friends. Since it is now February, I thought it might be a good time to check in with everyone and see how those resolutions are going. We have had over a solid month to get going and settle into a new routine to better our 2013. I'll share my progress: absolutely god damn nothing. While I have made almost zero attempt to fulfill my resolutions, I will share them with you anyway.

1. Read for at least an hour a day

This I have been able to accomplish. But does it count if I'm reading stuffy textbooks that talk about market demographics and how you should change the way you speak to get a fucking job? No. No it does not count. That's why I purposely cut into textbook time by enjoying Compendium One of The Walking Dead or a little Lord of the Rings. Ooh boy, when I get to read The Walking Dead:

Image Source

2. Write for at least an hour a day

This I sadly have not done. I'm simply a failure in this category. When I write, it's in confused 15-20 minute bursts. Then, I get distracted by Facebook or a hangnail or have to pee as soon as I have a good idea. God hates me.

3. Get a job

I was all pumped this semester because I am rather proficient in French and just finished my minor in it. So, I thought a good way to keep my language up and to make a little money would be to tutor those degenerates who just couldn't grasp a foreign language. All proud, I sent a polite email to the tutoring center explaining how I had spent my last semester abroad and had completed my minor and far exceeded the qualifications listed on the tutoring website. Turns out they have no need for any French tutors; "check back at the end of the summer." Mother fuck. I will obviously never be her:

Image Source How could I resist this?? Look at that neck!!
I dig what's in her hands, but, sweet beaver, look at her neck.

4. Exercise at lest three times a week.

Just no. In lieu of going to the gym, I have taken up chewing my food much more vigorously to burn calories.

5. Paint at least one thing a month

Well, January is over... but I did paint one thing in December and that was before the New Year started, meaning that I took initiative... so I am going to just carry that over for my January painting.

I am just so bad at resolutions. I hope you have all done a better job than I have.

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  1. Those are some great resolutions. I definitely need to read and write more. What I don't need is that neck. Jesus, where does the chin stop and the neck begin?

    Going to a gym consistently is too hard for a lot of people. Me included. I work out at home, or I go bike riding around the neighborhood, etc, because I'll admit that getting dressed up and driving to the gym seems like more work than its worth, especially when it's cold out.

    1. That neck is probably going to be my new driving force to exercise. How does one even develop something like that??

      I agree. If I can get out 30 push-ups before getting in the shower, or a couple of ill-formed sit-ups, that is a great day. It's cold, I hibernate now.

  2. My new best friend is software called "freedom". It lets me block my internet for any amount of time, and there's nothing that I can do to unblock it until the time's up. I get so much more writing done when I don't have the internet to distract me! And The Walking Dead is so good. I just read the last volume (Well, the latest one available at the library anyway - I think it was volume 16?) and can't wait for the next one!

    1. That does sound great! I could definitely use fewer distractions so I could just get my crap done. However... does that apply to my smartphone? That's where I fall apart!

      The Walking Dead is great! I have yet to read a lot of it but so far, it is quite titillating.