Monday, March 4, 2013

Lost and Not Found

I am procrastinating so obviously I found this time in space to be an appropriate time to blog about how I have lost my car keys, and I can only suppose that they have been sucked up in some sort of vortex.

I was supposed to drive a group of people to Chipotle (because Chipotle is delicious) when I noticed that my car keys were not where they were supposed to be. Here begins my search.

1. Search clutch multiple times hoping that the keys have magically appeared in said clutch since I last scoured it.  No such luck.

2. Go to friend's house to search there even though they told me the keys weren't found. You must search yourself after all. No one would look harder than you...except my mom. She always finds things I've lost...too bad she's 6 hours away.

3. Crawl around bedroom floor, moving around the mountains of things that have been accumulating on your desk over the past few weeks. I found a lot of dust was disconcerting. Did I clean them...of course not.

Here is where a digression must occur.  As anyone does when they have a major yet not embarrassing or life threatening problem, I complain about it and tell everyone I know hoping that it will either go away or fix itself. I was in the middle of my spiel of all the things I had exhausted when one girl pipes up and says, "Have you checked your room?"

Really. Do you think I would have endured all that I had endured if I had not checked my room?! I give her a look and she tells me to just really search my room.  I mean REALLY search. OH I'M SORRY WHAT WAS I DOING BEFORE WHEN I WAS CRAWLING AROUND LIKE I WAS IN A WHITE SNAKE VIDEO!?

4. Call the venue that I attended the previous night to no avail.

5. Call Taco Bell (yes, I was in a Taco Bell at 3 in the morning the evening before, what do you want from me?)

My interaction with the staff was brief as I was told that they did not have my keys, though I made them describe the keys they did have to me anyway, not trusting them. I trust no one who is employed at at Taco Bell.

6. Shine flashlight into car at night to see if keys are in car.  Unable to see and self-conscious of how shady I appear, I retreat back into the house.

7. Thought I got the number for a bus I was in the evening before - actually got the number from the attractive DJ.  Good thing I didn't leave a voicemail...though, now, of course, I have the attractive DJ's phone number. A silver lining? I think so.

8. Watch a Youtube video on how to break into a vehicle...I'm worried for my friend's search history now.

9. Attempt to mimic said video with poor results. Jacking cars will not be a future of mine. I would also like to point out that several people I didn't know walked by while I tried this and not a single one of them questioned my motives.  Perhaps they saw the crazed look of determination in my eyes...or maybe they just didn't give a shit. That's city living for ya.

10. Call AAA to get them to open my car. They are successful; however, my car alarm immediately begins sounding. The man tells me that I have to use the keys to stop it. I tell him that that's the issue.. I thought that maybe my keys would be inside. He pursed his lips at me and gradually retreated leaving me with a beeping car.  Again, no one was all that concerned, except for myself...I was writing around in a pool of embarrassment.

I still have not found my keys. I have also had to endure a phone call with my mother where she informed me that it will be a real inconvenience to only have the key and not the button unlocker thingy. Thanks mom.

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